In The Year Of......

In The Year…..

I’m in the process of telling my story to a published author, and in this process I’ve had to look back at my life, a child of poverty, a child of abuse, and a teenager captured by addiction, and lust, and my lost soul searching for some kind of substance to life, wanting answers to questions, and was never satisfied with what I knew life to be…..

In this process of recording events throughout my life, a converstion arose with the question, “How did I ever get saved?” and “How could I not be mad at God?”

I've never shaken my fist at God in anger…..I lifted up my eyes to heaven desiring to know Him, the Creator, who seemed so far away, but I had hope in my heart that He might see me, and rescue me.

Jeremiah 29:11-14
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

When bad things happen, unexpected circumstances, or things just aren’t going the way you think they should, the common response of most people is to turn to God with the question, why? In some cases, one shakes his fist at God in anger. There’s something in us that wants or needs to find someone to blame, we’ve lost a loved one to terminal illness, a freak accident or life is just not fair, when will I get a break in life, if I just had this or that or if things were different, and one might ask the question, where is God?

　

Psalm 3

Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah. But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah. I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about. Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God: for thou hast smitten all mine enemies upon the cheek bone; thou hast broken the teeth of the ungodly. Salvation belongeth unto the LORD: thy blessing is upon thy people. Selah.

　

In the year of 2009 my dad was diagnose with stage four lung cancer, with six moths to live…during this time I took care of my dad, whom was never there for me as a child, I now find myself with him everyday, and in the final count down of his life, I held his hands, the same hands that greatly abused my mother, the hands that were unfaithful, the hands that choose alcohol, and women over his own children, I now hold, and bring words of comfort to his dying ears…within five months my dad died.

In the year of 2010, I buried my dad’s body. He was not with the body that died, because my dad rededicated his life to Christ, I say rededicated because during the five months I asked him a lot questions. Questions about life, not about his failure of it, but he shared with me about being “Born Again” when he was a teenager, going to church and playing basket ball with the church youth group….wow!

In the year of 2010, two months after my dad’s death, my little sister is diagnose with a “rare form of cancer”….my inturpration, they have no idea what it is….

For the next seven months I am with my sister, traveling to the Mayo clinic, St,. Anthony’s in Rockford. Staying with her in her ex-husband house, taking care of her every need, physical, emotional and spiritual needs….and in the last three weeks of her life we were at the Serenity House in Oregon, Il…a hospice home for terminally ill people….in the year of 2011, February 26^th. I watch my little sister, Barbara Marie Olson, she just turned 40 years old die as I sat at her side….

One would ask, where was your God?

In her fragile voice she asked me, Bonnie, when you pray will you ask God where He’s going to take me? I quickly listened for the Spirit of the Lord to speak, and immediately said, he is going to take you to Himself….

John 14:1-3
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

In the years when I was a child I saw the Lord, and I began to search for Him!

In the year of my addiction and lust, I saw the Lord, and I knew the choices I was making was not pleasing to Him!

In the Year of my repentances, I saw the Lord High and Lifted Up, and His train filled the temple….this temple! Born Again, filled with the Holy Ghost!!!

In the Year of my dad’s death….I saw the Lord in all of His mercy, and goodness!

In the Year of my sisters death….I saw the Lord and His power to save!

In the year of my Children trying to find their own way…I saw the Lord’s mighty hand upon them to lead them to His grace!

We need to see the Lord as Isaiah saw the Lord! It was in the year that King Uzziah died. In the year of whatever it is we might be going through, we must see our need for God, and that without Him we can do nothing. We must see the ugliness of our own sin, our own ways, and see that this world and all that it stands for will never be enough. We must fall on our face before a Holy God, and when we do, may we experience the worship of heaven; the Lord sitting upon His throne, high and lifted up, His train fills the temple of our worship, of our prayers; May we hear the voice of the angles singing, Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord of Host; the whole earth is full of His glory! The Sufferings of this present time are not worthy to compare to the GLORY that will be revealed in us! (Romans 8:18); May we know that the Lord will move heaven and earth to visit us; and when we see Him, may we worship Him in Spirit and Truth, that our eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Host, and desperately see our need of Him; Let Him touch our lips with the coal of His fire, and purify our hearts before Him; May we respond saying, Here I Am Lord, Send Me!!!

May we see with our eyes, and hear with our ears, understand with our hearts, and return and be healed in Yeshua/Jesus name!!!

Isaiah 6:1-10

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one cried to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!” And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke. So I said: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King,

The Lord of hosts.” Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth with it, and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged.” Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” And He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on hearing, but do not understand; Keep on seeing, but do not perceive.’ “Make the heart of this people dull, And their ears heavy, And shut their eyes; Lest they see with their eyes, And hear with their ears, And understand with their heart, And return and be healed.”

Today:

In the year of your homelessness….See The Lord, High and Lifted Up!

In the year of your sickness….See The Lord, High and Lifted Up!

In the Year of your backsliding….See The Lord, High and Lifted Up!

In the year of Your Addiction, your oppression….See The Lord, High and Lifted Up!

In the year that your father and mother have forsaken you…See The Lord, High and Lifted Up!

In the Year of____________See the Lord, High and Lifted Up!!!

(you fill in the blank)

Hebrews 2:8-10

You have put all things in subjection under his feet.” For in that He put all in subjection under him, He left nothing that is not put under him. But now we do not yet see all things put under him. But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, for the suffering of death crowned with glory and honor, that He, by the grace of God, might taste death for everyone.

Hebrews 12:2

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Psalm 121

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber. Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul. The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

Acts 4:12-14

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus. And beholding the man which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it.

Spend time with the Lord Jesus Christ today: Through worship, prayer and let His Words dwell in you richly, Let your light shine so all men will see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven, knowing that He, The Lord of Host, works all things out for our good, because we love Him, and we are called according to His purpose!

Shalom Always,

Bonnie Kae Lentz